The parent thought of hostility is often quiet, masking itself in shyness, wallflowers, and people who withdraw themselves from contact with others. It is the chief cause of the inferiority complex. Carrying a false image of oneself and others can cause the timid person to withdrawal and turn inward, often revealing unconscious hostility.
The timid person unconsciously feels that others are against him. He is silent in the presence of others, often wishing he were more outgoing and had the “gift of gab.” He fears that others are critical of him.
Bailes recalls a salesman who shrank away from making calls and as a consequence wasn’t making any sales. He asked him, “Just what is it you are afraid of in your prospects? The salesman replied, “I don’t know. I’m just afraid, that’s all.”
There is no such thing as being afraid of nothing. Fear always has a specific object. Was he afraid that he would be physically thrown out of their office, or perhaps clubbed over the head? It turns out the salesman had built up an unconscious hostility toward his prospects, based upon his belief that they would be hostile to his presentation of his product.
After careful review, the salesman came to realize just what he was allowing to happen. He believed in his product and knew the great benefits it offered selected prospects. He ceased seeing himself as an unwelcome nuisance, instead he took on the role as benefactor. This change of thought set him on a course of creating mutually beneficial business relationships with his prospects and he became a top producer for his company.
If you remember, hostility is separation while love is unity. Of course the salesman didn’t need to love his prospects but he did cultivate the unifying quality of genuine good will. His changed inner expectations brought him much ease and success.
The Infinite is never occupied with thoughts of hostility. As the man took on more of this divine attitude he was thinking God’s thoughts after Him, in a non-religious manner; he was becoming Godlike.
The Center of Our Affections Must Be Outside Ourselves
The best way to overcome the inferiority complex is in cultivating genuine goodwill towards others. Love is the fulfilling of the Law. If you are filled with feelings of inferiority you have placed yourself at the center of your own affections. Your thoughts are continually on yourself, worrying what others think of you, what kind of impression you are making, fear that others will hurt you. Love is the placing of another at the center, rather than yourself.
Perfect love casts our fear – is not only a religious truth, but a psychological one as well. When we shift the center of our attention from ourself and develop an interest in others, we will free ourselves from timidness. Move towards the expectation of a warm welcome from others and cultivate a feeling of sincere good will toward them. You will quickly free yourself from this self-imposed prison.