Whether you are man or woman, you know the sting of rejection. Even when we have put our best foot forward, we still get rejected. What in the world is going on here? Most people will be surprised at the answer. It is you – yourself, who are keeping others from seriously considering you, and no one but you can change this situation. No worries, it is quite within your power.
Rejection is one of the parent thoughts buried deepest in our culture. It shows up in different ways in our lives. Very often it starts in childhood. The example I am about to share may appear to be an extreme case; It is mine. I will get to more subtle nuances of this parent thought later.
Correction and chiding are often necessary in the training of a child. Depending on the frequency and the loving, constructive guide towards alternative behavior – it is key in keeping the parent thought of rejection at bay. Expressions of parental disapproval, words of scolding, spankings, set up fear in a child’s mind that the parents have withdrawn from her; they have pushed her away and out of their lives; leaving her feeling very alone and scared.
The deeper the groove of “rejection” cuts into a child’s thinking, the more often she will see rejection in the childish hostile attitudes of playmates and authority figures. It then gradually develops into a strong current in the deeper levels of her thought life. It has become an actively operating parent thought of rejection.
Years pass, if it was a single experience, its forgotten, but if it occurred repeatedly over years, with no safe place of refuge to turn, it can fester, causing an uprising in the child’s mind of feeling unwanted, not good enough or approved of; not attractive enough, different. It can also turn one to dishonest behavior.
People that know me can’t for a minute believe I fall into this category, but I do my friend. I have felt every ounce of its pain and shame. It took many years of acting out, while turning my inner rage into a determination to prove that I was worthy of EVERYTHING; a course fueled by the same deep belief in rejection. Unfortunately I hurt many that I loved along the way, and couldn’t hold onto successes.
Did I blame my family for it all, you betcha! Then that had to stop. As sick and twisted of a family life that I came from, at some point I had to release them, heal and move on. Its easier said than done. Don’t I know it, but everyday, in every way possible, you must take the steps to leave the past behind and become a better you – YOU MUST!
Now, remember, I write to you coming off of 6 years of crippling, chronic pain, not what I would call a successful run, but I wouldn’t call it a failure either. I see this time as one of the biggest gifts of my life. I have studied and researched every nook and cranny when it comes to mental and emotional health and how it relates to physical pain. I never gave up on myself, my education, my appearance, developing confidence, and when I fell, and sometimes HARD – I always got back up.
Healing starts by destroying the painful images and verbal tapes NOW. And in their place you define a mantra that includes the loving, giving, and gentle guide of your Creator. Include the exact opposite of the unworthy messages that you received in childhood i.e “I am a loser; I am created in the Image of my Creator, therefore I am a perfect winner,” “I am a lying cheat; Not today, today my actions reflect honesty, integrity and goodwill to all.”
You see? Write it out and now practice and practice until your new mantra of truth has taken the place of the lies. You will begin receiving all that is good. God is on your side in this!
Eventually you will reach a place of neutrality, acceptance. You no longer need to know the what’s and the why’s. You will have found peace of mind – your very own, and no one can take it or even touch it without your permission.
It is from this sacred place that you will find your healing. Once you have received the gift of God’s love and understand the ways in which He works in all our lives, you will hold the KEY to your physical wellness, financial peace, and a life of harmony – of this I am certain.